[ She gets a general picture. His mother died early and he had a hidden brother. Something probably happened because of said brother's existence that caused him to become as he is. That's not the only factor though.
"Makes you wonder what they thought I was capable of at that age."
What his parents - his kingdom - expected of him probably played a heavy role in changing him. Honestly, the similarity between their situations is troubling. She too hadn't been aware of her sister's existence for a long time. Her divine parents put insane expectations on her shoulders and something that happened because of Ishtar changed her forever. ]
I think I get it. [A pause.] I can teach you good manners, I can teach you how those bile base instincts of yours should be reigned in for your own good. However, I will not be able to fix you myself.
[ If she takes the comparison between their lives further... The solution to this is clear.
Love!
He needs to find his own special little grape who will help him heal and become his better self. Clearly he didn't find that person in his homeworld or he wouldn't be like that... But there is still hope here! And so embarrassing as it is, she must ask: ]
Is there an outsider you are romantically interested in?
... maybe it kind of was. but, were the assassins sent to him as a child and into adulthood not enough to warp anyone? or the battlefields he's traversed since he had become of age? regardless, he seems skeptical if she truly understood his plights, but at the same time, her attempts at understanding him doesn't go unnoticed. it's a an effort most didn't choose to expend, and so he does discover himself being marginally more forthcoming. minus one quick correction: ]
Do you not think the word "fix" to be rather insulting?
[ hello???
but while it was his intention to at least answer her questions truthfully... she subverts all his thoughts just like that. ... what?
for a moment, he stares at her, before: ] Romantically?
[ her head truly was filled with intriguing thoughts.
he thought this the last time, but for a goddess of whatever realm she claimed to have rule over, she thought quite a bit of romance and love, didn't she? the irony seems vaguely to miss him, if just because he hasn't yet put a lot of thought into the gods and goddesses of these lands. ]
Is it okay for your head to be full of such thoughts? But, to answer your question... after seeing the bloodshed of war and dealing with my enemies both inside and outside of the empire, you could say such feelings have long since dried up.
[ it may not be completely accurate in some ways, but it was for the longest time, and so it's difficult to tear himself away from such thoughts, even if he did have people he was quite fond of. fond to what degree and to what specific meaning, however? he chooses not to ponder over it longer than he has to. ]
[ She must admit, the use of that word had indeed been insulting. Even though she thinks the meaning is apt, this doesn't excuse her using such tactless language. Perhaps she should use what they share in common to better pass her message. Especially since his answer indicates that - unfortunately - he hasn't found his precious little grape.
That or he is not aware of his feelings for someone yet. Or worse, he is but holds onto the thought that this is not a feeling worth holding. ]
Would you believe it, should I tell you I was once cruel? [...] Time and the hardships of my existence had changed me. What dreams I had once clung onto had been broken and shattered.
[ Though it is unclear what counts as "cruel" by her standards - especially seeing how harsh she is on herself - she had undeniably been worse. She had given up hope, she'd grown cold and distant, she's resented humans and gods alike for mistreating her. ]
But I met a human who treated me like a person. Through her words and presence, she undid all the cruelties of life that had changed me so. My first friend.
[ The "love" that will probably never love her back she spoke of during the gala. W-Well she doesn't care if she's not loved back. Of course it hurts, but just knowing love is really wonderful. It changes you. And it could change him, should he finally walk the path of the isekai protagonist he's meant to! ]
It's possible to heal, Callisto. You but need to keep your heart open until you find that person who will undo the cruelties of your life.
[ if only he knew she called her precious one "little grape" he would have much more to lay judgment on. perhaps, it's simply for the best. regardless, her apology seems to have been accepted, if just by the gesture of him simply giving a small exhalation; just slightly exasperated, before moving onwards.
instead, entirely consumed by their next topic of conversation.
her? cruel? a lady who was embarrassed by merely making a spectacle of herself at a ball? ] With your nerves, my lady? [ which, he seems to ask readily. whether it is to clear the invisible tension that clings to the space between them, or if it was to minimize her prior sins... is unknown. but, he does listen to the rest without interruption.
goddess. human. they really were so fantastical terms when one puts the two together, and yet he doesn't let the disbelief mar his perception of the story she tells. however, his own emotional scars don't make it easy to accept her words. ] Unfortunately, I have no interest in "healing." If such a thing were so easily done, do you not think everyone in the world would have already done it?
To begin with, I am not hurt. If I had to say, all that remains is resentment and a desire to take the throne. [ if just because it were rightfully his, and doing so... was the best revenge. ] I also have zero desires to undo my misdeeds, nor do I feel it a shame to have cut down the people have.
[ It's amazing how he's said so many things and they're nearly all wrongs. That's a ift. ]
You are correct on one thing: it is not easily done. [She shakes her head.] Thankfully, you are talking to one who has healed and will heal more souls than you could ever hope to count.
[ Granted, they are the souls of the dead. And she mostly provides for them a safe space where they can find peace. B-But that doesn't change what the facts are! ]
I shall not stand to hear such nonsense as "I have no interest in healing" in the same breath that you claim all that remains is resentment. [ ] I have made a promise, and I shall see it through!
[ And thus comes the point of the simulation room: her souls find peace through their dreams, but it's not like she can invade Callisto's dreams! Nor does she wish too. So Ereshkigal uses her implants to launch a program: "Child Callisto."
And lo! A younger version of Callisto materializes before their very eyes! Or at least something that is supposed to look like a younger version of himself but... It looks like one of those chibi art people makes in those "manga" books. The slasher villain smile plastered onto its face really sells him as being what Ereshkigal pictures as a younger Callisto.
She's tried her best, okay!! ]
This is your inner child. [Just in case he needed for it to be spelled out loud. The resemblance is striking, wouldn't you say?] I want you to hug your younger self and ask if he is happy with what you've become.
[ her willpower certainly wasn't normal. despite the confidence she displays and how it oft seems to fluctuate, he does see that it likely did stem from somewhere genuine. he isn't accustomed to busybodies outside of cedrick, his aide, whom ... he would argue says one too many words at times, and so he finds himself wondering why she feels the need to invest so much of herself into it.
was it simply because it was her word, and by extension... now her duty? or because she really saw so much of herself in his present form? while he does desire to question it, he finds all words dying at the tip of his tongue when she...
sends an invite to ... child callisto???? ] As I mentioned before, I was a normal child by all means. [ he definitely sees the villainous smile plastered onto this tinier "child" form of his, and he's offended. ]
I fail to see what touching it would do. As mentioned before, that side of me has long since been casted aside. You could even consider him dead. Do you see a reason to hug corpses? [ is he really talking to the goddess of death about... death...
[ When he says this side of him has been dead for long, this only confirms that she is indeed doing the right thing. Sure, her representation of his younger self may be imperfect... But if he gives her a description, she'll be able to make another, better one for their next session (you bet it's gonna be a weekly thing).
What he says next ticks her off though. ]
Are you implying the dead do not need comfort and affection? [The gall! The insolence!] The very reason I exist is because they do!
[ Also what's wrong with hugging corpse? Is that because they're cold? Her body is cold - that comes with her job - is he implying she's undeserving of hugs?! W-Well, she supposes corpses decay and can carry diseases, whereas she doesn't... But she's got divine authority over decay and diseases!!
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Deep breath. She's not going to lose her cool now. Okay... ]
Hug him.
[ Regardless of what he meant, those words are spoken on a tone that's far colder than any corpses. ]
[ he clearly does not know in which way he deserves her ire, however there's no mistaking the fact that she's clearly displeased with him and his callous words. he gives a brief sort of shrugging motion. ] Well, I certainly don't make a habit of it. Rather, if there was such a crazed maniac hugging the bodies of those they've sent to hell with their own hands... [ he wouldn't especially like to meet them. nor does he recommend anyone should for that matter.
the idea does get a scoff out of him as he seems to brush the argument aside, if just because he didn't really consider it one. but, it's clear by her stance and the severity of his expression that she wasn't about to make it easy for him.
it's not much of a hug but he does sort of give the "child" him a pat, more in a motion of seeing how real it felt under his touch than anything actually meaningful. ] Satisfied? [ ... ] If you feel so firmly of the dead, why do you not give him a hug? Or are you ashamed to do it in front of my eyes?
[ It feels real enough. Honestly Eresh is very bad at programming things for the simulation room, it could use some improvement. To his question, Ereshkigal has a reply immediately at the ready. She's not going to hug any version of Callisto, thank you very much. ]
He's not my younger self and I am not the one undergoing training.
[ She turns back to his younger self and- W-Wait, it's changed? It's like the program is bugged and corrupted code appears over it. To be more specific, the way it's glitching makes it look like his younger self is crying digital tears. An unfortunate happening? Or are the Synflux gods trying to send a message? ]
Huh...? [She approaches the smaller Callisto and tilts her head.] Did he break? Did you do something?
[ Clearly it happened as a result of Callisto "hugging" his younger self. ]
[ entirely fair. at a point, he could have potentially had much to be offended over, if he were privy to her thoughts, but perhaps... it's best he isn't. ]
As an instructor, is it not entirely fair to ask for a demonstration?
[ him pressing some innocuous point aside, he does notice the shift in the simulated "child." as it begins crying, callisto turns back to her. ] Why would I do this? I will have you know that I do not derive pleasure in making children weep. [ ??? who do you think he is??
he pushes the "younger version" of himself aside, more in a motion of brushing past this part of their lesson, but then it collapses to the ground. ... damn, this is like the sims all over again, minus he hasn't actually done anything.
[ Ereshkigal remains silent all along, looking stunned at this turn of event. But soon, it all comes together. What's happened it very clear, all things considered. The simulation was poorly made, but she'd made it to help explore Callisto's feelings. Maybe the AI caught up on her intentions. And so this means: ]
You made your younger self cry and you killed him once more...
[ Maybe she should summon a Freud program, because he'd sure have a field day analyzing what just happened. ]
This will be all for today. We have a Kaiju mission soon... But once we'll be back, we'll have to discuss in depth just what lengths you go to in order to hurt yourself.
[ It's amazing all you can extrapolate from a few glitches. His case is a severe one, she has no doubts it will take many sessions... But he shall be fixed! ]
[ why does he feel like he's being accused all over again? though, technically... he would argue he had a bigger hand in the sims than he did in what transpired here today. it's an unfairness he isn't blind to, and he's never been one to stand around and hold his tongue, either. ]
I am sure you saw, but I hardly touched him. I'm amazed you can constantly view me in this light. [ he says, while doing little to shift this perspective of hers. if anything, ereshkigal was rather generous with him. even her desire to learn about his past likely displayed her own attempts at comprehending where he came from. but, that didn't mean he was easy to change.
but, at her words, he does give a small nod. ] Very well. Then, once we are back I would also like to hear of your past in great detail. You would not expect one to divulge their innermost secrets without sharing any of your own, would you?
[ That she views him in this light is exactly why they're here! Hmpf. And now he wants to hear the innermost secrets of her past in great detail?
H-He didn't even go into great detail about his past, he's been the vaguest person to ever be vague! He's so demanding. But then that may be the opportunity she needs to get more details about his childhood. If she has to reveal how she killed Ishtar for this, so be it. ]
...Very well, but I expect as many details and clarity from your end as I am willing to give.
[ She has a month or so to think of a way to speak about Ishtar in a way that doesn't sound so biased. It'll be fine, surely. ]
A fair exchange. Rather bold of you to ask, but I have no reason to decline. [ is it truly bold in the grander scheme of things? when she was not just a mere subject of his empire, but a goddess herself? probably not, but it wasn't like callisto to change his tune, either.
hence, he sticks with this stance. but, there might be some genuine intrigue melded into his words. he had never been the sort that was that curious about the lives of others, and yet... the individuals gathered here seemed to be some sort of exception.
either way, he takes this as he own cue to leave alongside her. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ She gets a general picture. His mother died early and he had a hidden brother. Something probably happened because of said brother's existence that caused him to become as he is. That's not the only factor though.
"Makes you wonder what they thought I was capable of at that age."
What his parents - his kingdom - expected of him probably played a heavy role in changing him. Honestly, the similarity between their situations is troubling. She too hadn't been aware of her sister's existence for a long time. Her divine parents put insane expectations on her shoulders and something that happened because of Ishtar changed her forever. ]
I think I get it. [A pause.] I can teach you good manners, I can teach you how those bile base instincts of yours should be reigned in for your own good. However, I will not be able to fix you myself.
[ If she takes the comparison between their lives further... The solution to this is clear.
Love!
He needs to find his own special little grape who will help him heal and become his better self. Clearly he didn't find that person in his homeworld or he wouldn't be like that... But there is still hope here! And so embarrassing as it is, she must ask: ]
Is there an outsider you are romantically interested in?
1/2
... maybe it kind of was. but, were the assassins sent to him as a child and into adulthood not enough to warp anyone? or the battlefields he's traversed since he had become of age? regardless, he seems skeptical if she truly understood his plights, but at the same time, her attempts at understanding him doesn't go unnoticed. it's a an effort most didn't choose to expend, and so he does discover himself being marginally more forthcoming. minus one quick correction: ]
Do you not think the word "fix" to be rather insulting?
[ hello???
but while it was his intention to at least answer her questions truthfully... she subverts all his thoughts just like that. ... what?
for a moment, he stares at her, before: ] Romantically?
no subject
he thought this the last time, but for a goddess of whatever realm she claimed to have rule over, she thought quite a bit of romance and love, didn't she? the irony seems vaguely to miss him, if just because he hasn't yet put a lot of thought into the gods and goddesses of these lands. ]
Is it okay for your head to be full of such thoughts? But, to answer your question... after seeing the bloodshed of war and dealing with my enemies both inside and outside of the empire, you could say such feelings have long since dried up.
[ it may not be completely accurate in some ways, but it was for the longest time, and so it's difficult to tear himself away from such thoughts, even if he did have people he was quite fond of. fond to what degree and to what specific meaning, however? he chooses not to ponder over it longer than he has to. ]
no subject
[ She must admit, the use of that word had indeed been insulting. Even though she thinks the meaning is apt, this doesn't excuse her using such tactless language. Perhaps she should use what they share in common to better pass her message. Especially since his answer indicates that - unfortunately - he hasn't found his precious little grape.
That or he is not aware of his feelings for someone yet. Or worse, he is but holds onto the thought that this is not a feeling worth holding. ]
Would you believe it, should I tell you I was once cruel? [...] Time and the hardships of my existence had changed me. What dreams I had once clung onto had been broken and shattered.
[ Though it is unclear what counts as "cruel" by her standards - especially seeing how harsh she is on herself - she had undeniably been worse. She had given up hope, she'd grown cold and distant, she's resented humans and gods alike for mistreating her. ]
But I met a human who treated me like a person. Through her words and presence, she undid all the cruelties of life that had changed me so. My first friend.
[ The "love" that will probably never love her back she spoke of during the gala. W-Well she doesn't care if she's not loved back. Of course it hurts, but just knowing love is really wonderful. It changes you. And it could change him, should he finally walk the path of the isekai protagonist he's meant to! ]
It's possible to heal, Callisto. You but need to keep your heart open until you find that person who will undo the cruelties of your life.
no subject
instead, entirely consumed by their next topic of conversation.
her? cruel? a lady who was embarrassed by merely making a spectacle of herself at a ball? ] With your nerves, my lady? [ which, he seems to ask readily. whether it is to clear the invisible tension that clings to the space between them, or if it was to minimize her prior sins... is unknown. but, he does listen to the rest without interruption.
goddess. human. they really were so fantastical terms when one puts the two together, and yet he doesn't let the disbelief mar his perception of the story she tells. however, his own emotional scars don't make it easy to accept her words. ] Unfortunately, I have no interest in "healing." If such a thing were so easily done, do you not think everyone in the world would have already done it?
To begin with, I am not hurt. If I had to say, all that remains is resentment and a desire to take the throne. [ if just because it were rightfully his, and doing so... was the best revenge. ] I also have zero desires to undo my misdeeds, nor do I feel it a shame to have cut down the people have.
no subject
You are correct on one thing: it is not easily done. [She shakes her head.] Thankfully, you are talking to one who has healed and will heal more souls than you could ever hope to count.
[ Granted, they are the souls of the dead. And she mostly provides for them a safe space where they can find peace. B-But that doesn't change what the facts are! ]
I shall not stand to hear such nonsense as "I have no interest in healing" in the same breath that you claim all that remains is resentment. [ ] I have made a promise, and I shall see it through!
[ And thus comes the point of the simulation room: her souls find peace through their dreams, but it's not like she can invade Callisto's dreams! Nor does she wish too. So Ereshkigal uses her implants to launch a program: "Child Callisto."
And lo! A younger version of Callisto materializes before their very eyes! Or at least something that is supposed to look like a younger version of himself but... It looks like one of those chibi art people makes in those "manga" books. The slasher villain smile plastered onto its face really sells him as being what Ereshkigal pictures as a younger Callisto.
She's tried her best, okay!! ]
This is your inner child. [Just in case he needed for it to be spelled out loud. The resemblance is striking, wouldn't you say?] I want you to hug your younger self and ask if he is happy with what you've become.
no subject
was it simply because it was her word, and by extension... now her duty? or because she really saw so much of herself in his present form? while he does desire to question it, he finds all words dying at the tip of his tongue when she...
sends an invite to ... child callisto???? ] As I mentioned before, I was a normal child by all means. [ he definitely sees the villainous smile plastered onto this tinier "child" form of his, and he's offended. ]
I fail to see what touching it would do. As mentioned before, that side of me has long since been casted aside. You could even consider him dead. Do you see a reason to hug corpses? [ is he really talking to the goddess of death about... death...
apparently. ]
no subject
What he says next ticks her off though. ]
Are you implying the dead do not need comfort and affection? [The gall! The insolence!] The very reason I exist is because they do!
[ Also what's wrong with hugging corpse? Is that because they're cold? Her body is cold - that comes with her job - is he implying she's undeserving of hugs?! W-Well, she supposes corpses decay and can carry diseases, whereas she doesn't... But she's got divine authority over decay and diseases!!
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Deep breath. She's not going to lose her cool now. Okay... ]
Hug him.
[ Regardless of what he meant, those words are spoken on a tone that's far colder than any corpses. ]
no subject
the idea does get a scoff out of him as he seems to brush the argument aside, if just because he didn't really consider it one. but, it's clear by her stance and the severity of his expression that she wasn't about to make it easy for him.
it's not much of a hug but he does sort of give the "child" him a pat, more in a motion of seeing how real it felt under his touch than anything actually meaningful. ] Satisfied? [ ... ] If you feel so firmly of the dead, why do you not give him a hug? Or are you ashamed to do it in front of my eyes?
no subject
He's not my younger self and I am not the one undergoing training.
[ She turns back to his younger self and- W-Wait, it's changed? It's like the program is bugged and corrupted code appears over it. To be more specific, the way it's glitching makes it look like his younger self is crying digital tears. An unfortunate happening? Or are the Synflux gods trying to send a message? ]
Huh...? [She approaches the smaller Callisto and tilts her head.] Did he break? Did you do something?
[ Clearly it happened as a result of Callisto "hugging" his younger self. ]
no subject
As an instructor, is it not entirely fair to ask for a demonstration?
[ him pressing some innocuous point aside, he does notice the shift in the simulated "child." as it begins crying, callisto turns back to her. ] Why would I do this? I will have you know that I do not derive pleasure in making children weep. [ ??? who do you think he is??
he pushes the "younger version" of himself aside, more in a motion of brushing past this part of their lesson, but then it collapses to the ground. ... damn, this is like the sims all over again, minus he hasn't actually done anything.
she isn't going to blame him, is she? ]
no subject
You made your younger self cry and you killed him once more...
[ Maybe she should summon a Freud program, because he'd sure have a field day analyzing what just happened. ]
This will be all for today. We have a Kaiju mission soon... But once we'll be back, we'll have to discuss in depth just what lengths you go to in order to hurt yourself.
[ It's amazing all you can extrapolate from a few glitches. His case is a severe one, she has no doubts it will take many sessions... But he shall be fixed! ]
no subject
I am sure you saw, but I hardly touched him. I'm amazed you can constantly view me in this light. [ he says, while doing little to shift this perspective of hers. if anything, ereshkigal was rather generous with him. even her desire to learn about his past likely displayed her own attempts at comprehending where he came from. but, that didn't mean he was easy to change.
but, at her words, he does give a small nod. ] Very well. Then, once we are back I would also like to hear of your past in great detail. You would not expect one to divulge their innermost secrets without sharing any of your own, would you?
no subject
H-He didn't even go into great detail about his past, he's been the vaguest person to ever be vague! He's so demanding. But then that may be the opportunity she needs to get more details about his childhood. If she has to reveal how she killed Ishtar for this, so be it. ]
...Very well, but I expect as many details and clarity from your end as I am willing to give.
[ She has a month or so to think of a way to speak about Ishtar in a way that doesn't sound so biased. It'll be fine, surely. ]
no subject
hence, he sticks with this stance. but, there might be some genuine intrigue melded into his words. he had never been the sort that was that curious about the lives of others, and yet... the individuals gathered here seemed to be some sort of exception.
either way, he takes this as he own cue to leave alongside her. ]