uncourteous | ☝️

[ in this proximity, it's quite easy for him to study and assess each and every one of her micro-expressions. even the way her cheeks color, and the way she clearly stutters over her own, leads him to releasing a slightly airy sort of laugh. light and almost muted. especially, as he uses his thumb to give her hands a light sort of squeeze. almost as if a reminder to her, as to who was holding her hand. ]

If you are truly thankful, do you not believe we could benefit from doing this on occasion?

[ as if trying to convince her, he releases their hands briefly, if just to re-grip her hand at a slightly differently angle, his fingers now brushing against her palm. he isn't sure how effective this is, but surely just hands... was easy work for a goddess, right?

honestly, how simple did one have to be to thank the person who tricked you...

but, he doesn't hate it. instead, it may have been awfully endearing. ]

[ She's a goddess, sure... But a touch-starved goddess who's been this way since the dawn of time! And she's not simple, she's just taken aback by how he twists everything to his advantage, somehow. She exists to take care of the dead, care for them and help them move on. Not to deal with whatever it is he is doing.

If it was a simple matter of dealing divine punishment upon him, that'd be easier. And since he can't match her power, he's toying with her heart instead! What a cruel, cruel man. ]

V-Very well.

[ Hands. Nothing more than hands. ]

I shall allow you to hold my hand. [She looks up at him, determined. She won't give an inch more!] But nothing more!

[ T-That's already way too much, but she can agree to that much... ]

[ perhaps, they're the same in that vein. he may have not lived a very extensive life by all considerations, especially compared to a goddess— but, despite being the ripe age of 23, now recently turned 24, he can't say he's any better of a position. perhaps, that's why he can savor the only sense of intimacy he can come to know. just like this.

opposite to intimacy, while he could have easily pressed his body close to another soldier to withstand the winter tundra of the lands they've occasionally crossed in the midst of war... this is quite different. no scar tissue against his own hands, just soft, supple skin. ] If I had known your touch so warm, I may have wanted to do this much earlier.

[ just the hands, then. he won't press more than that for today. ]

It is an honor to be your first. [ or he better be her first...

if just because that's the way she made it sound. ]

[ The way he says it is - surprisingly - very sweet. But worse is what he says after. H-Her first? When he says it like that, it sounds... It sounds like something far worse. And yet evidently, he's talking about her hands! Does that mean he expects her to have never held anyone's hands before? She freezes on the spot as she considers the thought.

... S-She shook hands with Chaldea's Master once. And then she remembers when they were on missions in Neo Tokyo, she reached out for one of their fellow outworlder who needed help and grabbed them by the hand. It's not handholding per se, but the truth is undeniable. ]

I-I'm sorry, but... Y-You're not my first...!

[ Her hand has touched that of many people! At least three she can think of, possibly countless more. ]

I've done it before. People I rescued, people I shook hands with or even by accident... [She closes her eyes. The shame! The sheer embarassment.] I cannot hide this impurity!

[ oh...

... ]

[ her apology isn't one he expects, and he can't deny the way he's been vigorously shaken off his game.

he does have to wonder, who, what, when, and where this all occurred without him knowing...

... and then she continues.

there definitely is a distinction between all types of physical contact. would one label gripping onto someone's hands as you hang off the edge of a cliffside as "handholding"? not in callisto's books, but it is here that he really needs to deliberate between the meanings of her words and the potential lines being crossed. apparently, in her books, those were all considered one and the same. is he relieved, or is he frustrated? for once he isn't sure which he is. a mix of unexpected emotions to say the least, and it comes out with an almost quiet: ] I see. [ as if that isn't ominous enough, he then plays with one of her fingers idly, as he's deep in thought. ]

So you held another person's hands just like this? Finger to finger? What about... [ he leans in and kisses the back of her hand. ] This? Quite frankly, I'm not sure what to do with such a naughty princess.

[ cringe rofan lines... ]

[ Honestly, her books probably aren't as strict about what is defined as handholding as she is... Such is the curse of being a goddess who was totally isolated from the outside world for all of human history.

And then... H-He kisses the back of her hand? T-That's... That's definitely not something she's done before! Thankfully in this timeline, neither the gala nor his BDSM training ever happened so she's never had to slap his hand away. That would make this very awkward.

But worse is the word he's using. Oh no no no no. ]

Do not call me naughty...!

[ Who does he think he is, Ishtar? Ugh, he's oscillating so much between actually being sweet and being an absolute douche! Why can't he settle on one or the other, so she'll know whether she should stay angry or mellow out? Doesn't he understand old goddesses like her have very fragile hearts?

Maybe she should be more direct. ]

If you are so intent on winning my heart over, why were you torturing my virtual family and not courting me? [It all comes back to that.] Make a choice and decide if you want to be kind and sweet or an insufferable nightmare!!

[ not the bdsm...

but, perhaps it is for the best that callisto not have any more ammo than he presently possesses. especially as it seems that he has no trouble riling her up with just a single word. while he didn't think naughty to be too suggestive, nor very egregious, it seems that his sensibilities are quite different than hers.

once more punctuated by her sudden recollections of their collective past.

except, callisto has nearly forgotten... ] Virtual family...? [ he seems genuinely puzzled for a second, before a slight tilt of his head. it isn't that he means to dismiss whatever grievances she may have had for him, but that his own values were so vastly different in fact that he didn't quite see this as a serious misstep. much like how in another timeline, he could have very well side-stepped that he once held the mc at swordpoint... ] Me? [ his incredulity aside...

did... she think him kind and sweet? ]

[ Has he... Has he forgotten? Was one of her most traumatic experience in Synflux literally just a Tuesday for him? The audacity of that man! That makes her wonder why she's even here if he has so few memories of their time together (disastrous as that time was).

Because she's a beautiful princess (with the additional bonus of being a queen and goddess), of course. But that shouldn't be enough! ]

Yes, you!

[ Calling her naughty might have been a mistake... ]

You are constantly oscillating between being absolutely insufferable and nearly being decent. [Perhaps he does need the BDSM training, after all.] I-If you want to court me decently, then do it... B-But stop calling me all those things or making vile insinuations.

[ the exclamation doesn't show a hint of a lie, and yet he's really having to ruminate over this, digging into the deepest recesses of his mind. but, he barely procures it. he does remember they had played a game together, but could he be faulted for that (yes). ]

Is it not a bit petty to bring up something that happened ages ago, my lady?

[ says him who probably hasn't forgotten even the slightest of wrongs from other outsiders to this day, but shhh she doesn't have to know how hypocritical or contrarian he's being. more importantly, he does ask point blank: ] Is it vile if I liked it? [ he gives a slight quirk of his lips. clearly he's not done teasing her, but he does seem to gather the message that this appeared to be her limit. ]

What are you imagining? Aren't kids chastised in a similar matter? [ not that he would actually know... ]

[ It's absolutely not petty, it's totally reasonable and it's likely not the last he'll hear of it! She was having so much fun on that day and-

... I-Is he saying he's chastising her as he would a child? Is it what she's hearing? And on top of that he is saying he would like it if she was naughty?! ]

How depraved!! [Ishtar should be the one here for him to fawn over! He would probably be in heaven and she wouldn't mind adding another stupid man to her collection!] I forbid you to have such thoughts!

[ Clearly what she's imagining is the absolute worst scenario. And she doesn't mind playing the role of the thought police if she must. She bets he's already imagining the most depraved of things, like the two of them holding hands in public! And possibly scenarios even more risque than that. Utterly shameless. She will not have this man fantasize about her, not until he's earned the right to! ]

If you are to court me, I expect you to do it well. The kiss on the back of my hand and the gentle words were such a good start, but you ruined it all! [Sniff. She has "high" standards, and he's fulfilling nearly all of them...

B-But to hear that word just caused all of her insecurities to surface! She's not Ishtar!!] Calling me naughty was unnecessary and cruel!

[ forbid him...

he processes this gradually, almost painfully slow, before he scoffs. sorry ereskigal. it isn't that he doesn't believe her to be entirely serious in her words, but that it was a bit... cute in how she seemed to exercise her authority.

he supposed considering that he was the one one to deliver the proposal at her proverbial doorstep, he can permit this level of fight. no, he quite likes it. but, opposite to that if she didn't appreciate the word, then he wasn't going to press the point. after all, what if the art of war if not casting aside a battle or two in order to win the bigger, larger picture. the idea was alluring in its own right, anyway...

but, at her sniffing... ] Princess, are you that torn up over this? [ a slight sigh, before he places a gentle hand to her back as if to silently comfort her. he wonders if she's home sick...? (no) if allowed, he releases her completely if just to try and encircle his arms around her. ]

[ Of course he scoffs! What a villain. There is no hope for him, she can see that quite clearly now...

... At least that's what she thinks before he moves a hand to her back, and soon another. Is-Is he hugging her? Is he attempting to comfort her after he's said such vile things to her? Is that what they call hurt/comfort?? H-He could skip the hurt part, really. ]

I-I...

[ She's stunned, she doesn't know what to say!

... B-But it's nice. She could use being hugged more often. She relaxes a bit and tilts her head down. And leans into the embrace. Slightly. ]

... I just refuse to be called a word such as this one. [It reminds her of her sister and no, no thank you.] Wouldn't it hurt you if I called you things you are not?

I don't know if you heard, since you are new the empire, but I am called much worse in the day to day. If I were to take each remark to heart, there would be nothing left of me. [ but, his words cut a bit short.

while subtle, he feels the way she leans into his body, and he seems to become a bit more relaxed.

he isn't accustomed to the gesture, either. if he had to be honest, he hadn't thought much about the opposite sex, despite how his teasing words may have came across. if there is one thing the battlefield was adept at... was killing any speck of desire within him. the warmth elicits an odd combination of emotions to gather within him, and despite it, he doesn't think to pull away.

... and maybe in light of this. ] Then should I use another word instead? Fiery? ... Cute?

[ Both those words are... W-Well she definitely is fiery, but that doesn't sound right! And much as she loves being called cute, it's not like she can admit it to him. Which means she ought to find a way to deflect! Thankfully, he's given her just the right ammo for it: ]

... Perhaps because you do not take them to heart, there is nothing left of you.

[ If he took them to heart, perhaps he would realize that he has lost much and more of his humanity. If he took them to heart, perhaps he would take steps toward making sure people won't call him those things again.

... Yet again he'd probably have the people who speak those words executed rather than change his ways!

She sighs and closes her eyes. She doesn't want to move away, even though accepting his embrace is wrong. She's tired and right now this is relaxing. She wonders what's going through his mind right now? ]

What word would you like be used to describe you?

If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were saying I am devoid of feelings. [ as she deflects in shifting topics, or changing the lens of focus from herself to him— all he can do is mask his words with a veil of humor. a rather thin and flimsy one, but it seems to serve its purpose

in reality, she isn't incorrect. to some degree, he had become numb to the perceptions of others and mostly focused on his objectives. on appearing as much of the flawless emperor he was capable of being with little thoughts for anything else. mostly, maybe it was simply because becoming that would have been the greatest form of revenge.

albeit, it wasn't always a clean cut path, and her words act as a sudden reminder of that. since she seems to also relax and make no movements of slipping out, he also just continues to hold her. ] Flawless? [ it's an easy answer. one that's been ingrained in him since youth. ]

What about you? What did you want to be remembered as?

[ Hardly devoid of feelings, but when something hurts so much... Well after a while you get used to it. Or at least, you think you do. By putting higher and higher walls around yourself. By becoming the kind of person who won't be hurt by such words.

She can't help but chuckle when he says "flawless." It feels like talking to a mirror for a moment.

... If the mirror could hug her. ]

... I wanted to be remembered as flawless too. The perfect goddess. [She'd always been hard-working, but being a perfect goddess had been a point of pride.] Even if everyone hates me, what of it? I can find joy and pride in my own accomplishment.

[ It doesn't matter what people think of you! That's what you must convince yourself of after a while. But that's a lie. Unless you truly are capable of loving yourself, what others think always matter. ]

Perfection is unattainable, even for gods. The closer you get to it, the higher your resentment and loathing towards yourself as you can never reach it.

[ She closes her eyes and tilts her head. ]

... I don't know what word I'd like to be remembered as any more. I just hope it'll be something that makes me feel loved.

[ her admittance is a bit surprising. from his own perceptions, he alwyas presumed gods and goddesses to be the one to set their own standards. then again, from his own experience with ereshkigal, he could state the amount of times where she came off as authoritarian could be counted on one hand. even if she had every single right to be. he presumes if royalty was permitted to put on airs and make decisions of thousands of citizens, then it would be completely in her rights to exert her will had she desired it.

but, she wasn't such a goddess. she was dutiful and appeared bound by something. apparently, its of expectations. of not desiring to let others down even at the expense of herself. an emotion and desire he'd never fully comprehend. ]

I would argue as a goddess you are fully in your right to make your own definition of perfection. If you say it is so, then there is hardly anyone who could refute. Is it not enough that your convictions border on flawlessness?

[ as for love...

that was a bit more difficult for him to discuss, if just because he also didn't comprehend it. ] If you don't know word, you are still able to find out at any time, my lady. Who a better ally than I to help you in this cause?

[ It would be so easy if she was to set her own definition of perfection. In fact, that's kind of what a lot of gods do. She'd been been guilty of it when she'd manipulated the gates of Kûr to ensure her beauty is objectively superior to Ishtar's, ehe! But... ]

... That would be just wrong.

[ It hadn't really been satisfying when the gates had declared her to be the most beautiful one. It had just felt empty.

It only means something when you are called the word you so desire to be defined as by people who do it from their own free will, who genuinely believe you fit the word. ]

So long as you don't suggest such a horrible word again.

[ it's clear he doesn't fully comprehend her logic, nor does he know what pushes her to this extent. or, in cases like this, he wonders who she compares herself to so often. ] I think it all right to set your own standards within the realm of what you would think is acceptable.

If you truly are to be queen of my empire, then even more the case, I believe it apt.

[ just stretching them right within reach of what she would deem as perfection. just a fraction more grace towards herself. or so seems to the implication. ]

Instead, I will have to come up with many more colorful words to describe you. [ a small chuckle, one that's barely there. ] All good things, naturally. [ said in a very "you can look forward to it" sort of tone. in life, is that not the best sentiment you could offer someone? ]

[ Colorful? She's not sure why, but in spite of what how positive that word should be, it inspires dread in her. Maybe because she's used to live in a shadow and in a dull realm. Or perhaps because what he calls "colorful" could be the most shameful and undignified things to have ever existed. ]

Good and colorful things, huh...?

[ She's looking forward to it, honestly. She wonders what words he will find? ]

[ In fact, she probably should start thinking of something to call him as well. Something kind he will not expect... But then he'll just be flabbergasted if he hears her call him a cute name.

And-- ]

[ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... Wait. ]

[ What was it he said just before talking about colorful words? He believes it to be apt if...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ]

[ ... ... ... ...!!! !!! !!! !!! ]

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1/2

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omg sorry i somehow lost this notif

no worries!

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1/7

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7/7

eresh never gets a moment of peace

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he is so mean to her

sorry, i been hosting ppl at home, but i am here now eheh

ehehe, no worries at all!

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